27 July 2022
Leaving the Seashore
After Adrienne Rich
In the soft, sinking walls of the sandcastle,
there is a kind of osmosis. The stately structure, the towers
and battlements — all organically decaying amidst the shifting tide.
And she thinks: this kind of wonder, or hubris, can only
be understood by the child, or the poet, or the truly free.
If this were a metaphor, or a map, then it would be a map
of all her searchings — she who was born to the seashore,
and the longing of the periphery — how many sandcastles
had she built? How many fading statues of accomplishment,
how many crumbling palaces of the mind (its memories and
monsters, its infinitude of rooms), how many bungalows built by
lovers, whose shelters would, one after the other, wash away
with the tide? If this were a metaphor, or a map, it would be
the map of the beginning of her freedom —
not a map of choices, but a map of the one great choice.
So she walks barefoot into the ocean, leaving the seashore.
With the promise to return as tide or rainfall —
overflowing, bountiful, a gentle destroyer.
To be fully possessed by the mystery at last, which is to say,
to be fully possessed by the whole.